RULE #3: Never harass Golden Oldies, Baby Momma’s or L-Babies (or people who drive Geo Metro’s)
There are so many seniors who should not be allowed to drive but for whatever reason, they are still out there on the road. They may be partially blind, easily confused and unable to work their own radio but honestly, they’re old and they’ve earned the right to drive however slowly they want. I’m a big advocate for a shiny, silver “S” sticker (those veteran plates are a good giveaway too) but until then – keep your eyes open for those little gray heads peaking out over the steering wheel and give them plenty of space.
RULE #5: Know the unwritten rules of the road.
- Flash your lights for other drivers when you see speed traps (unless they look like they should get caught or if it’s a school zone). It’s good karma.
- Always merge as soon as possible. People who speed up and try to squeeze in at the front of the line shouldn’t be let in – ever.
- If someone’s stopped at a green light, count to five before honking. Excessive horniness is just plain rude.
- If you stop or slow down to let someone into your lane, only one car gets to come in.
- And if someone does ‘wave’ you to go ahead of them – wave back. It’s polite.
- Bikers always wave to other bikers, so if you see someone driving the exact same car (and same color as you) you can wave too if you like! (Car twins!!)
- Shotgun rules are always in effect.
- If someone gives you a ride, you should always pay for at least half the gas – Gas, Grass or… no I’m kidding (I love Dazed and Confused) but seriously, don’t be a cheap skate.
- Also, driver chooses music. Don’t like it? Drive your own car.
- If you’re going to crank your tunes, keep your windows up. If you don’t have a sub, don’t crank the base. If you’re stuck in traffic, don’t crank the tunes.
Choose a dependable DD (someone who won’t forget that they’re the DD) or call a friend, family member or taxi. Remember, cab fare is cheaper than the fine for a DUI, spending the night at someone’s house is better than spending the night in jail and who wouldn’t prefer to get a call from a drunk friend at 3am who needs a ride than a phone call the next morning to tell you your friend died in a car accident.
Drinking and driving is stupid. Don’t do it. And if you do, I hope you get caught.
That’s it for my Rules. Check back and I’ll add more as I think of them – let me know what I missed.