I’ve been incredibly busy lately with work and getting ready for the launch of my Young Adult/Teen paranormal-romance novel, Amber Frost (available Dec. 7, 2010 through all major ebook sellers!). I apologize for the lack of recent posts. I’ve been thinking about writing a lot lately – it’s just finding the time that is the challenge. Anyway, at some point over the past week or so I realized I started creating a list in my head of Things I Wouldn’t do Again and I had to write it down. I decided to cut it off at 10 because… well, why not?
1. Setting-up Friends
Who doesn’t love the idea of taking credit for someone else’s successful relationship? On some small level, don’t we all want to be pimps? Or at least just wear a pimp hat? No? Just me? Anyway, setting-up your friends is a horrible idea because ultimately, most couples break up. And when they do you’ll have to take a side – it’s unavoidable. I thought I was a genius for setting up two of my friends in University. They were so obviously perfect for one another and dated quite happily for several months; I couldn’t have been more smug. Then the messy breakup happened and things got awkward fast. I lost my bragging rights and ended up losing one of my friends. I will never set-up friends again.
2. Work at a Fast-Food Chain
I got paid minimum wage to work the most stressful, unpleasant and demanding job I’ve ever had which (as a bonus) also happened to be accompanied with the least amount of respect. I had to deal with rude and obnoxious customers on a daily basis, an unintelligent manager on a power trip, and for the ultimate humiliation, I had to wear tapered pants made out of fire-resistant material. Never again.
By the way, I admire the people who can work in these stressful and fast-paced restaurants because I certainly wasn’t cut out for it! It really was the hardest job I’ve ever had and we should all respect the people who do it. I definitely do.
3. Go to Art School
Why not? Because I only met three cool people who I still talk to (in 4 yrs), I use my degree in Visual Arts for… well, just about nothing, I racked up a student loan in excess of $30,000 and I really didn’t become that much of a better artist – just more cynical. I wouldn’t go back and change it if I could though, I’m glad with how my life’s worked out. I just wouldn’t do it again!
4. Party too Hard
We all say “never again” the next morning but I’m hoping the last time I said that really was the truth. After completely avoiding alcohol while trying to conceive for a year, then being pregnant for nine months, then nursing my child for 14 months after that – I haven’t uttered this phrase in well over 3 years. To some the extent of your hangover the next day may be the main defining quality of how much fun you had the night before but Momma’s don’t have the option of staying in bed all day to nurse a hangover. My Little Alarm clock goes off somewhere between 5:30 and 6:30 am every morning – “mommmmmmm-mmmmaaaaa!” and I’d rather wake up ready to play than to puke.
5. Smoke
I just wanted to point out I quit about… 4 yrs ago now! Woo hoo!
6. Bake a Double Batch of Double-Chocolate Chip Cookies (when I know the only one who is going to eat them is me!)
7. Buy Halloween Candy Long Before Halloween (same reason as the cookies)
8. Give Birth
Just one of the many stupid things I have done and will do for my child. Ok, it wasn’t stupid and it really wasn’t that bad but I would LOVE not to have to do this again. And even as I say it, I know eventually, I probably will. I really am stupid.
9. Shop with the Hubbie
Sometimes I get these images in my mind and I become so obsessed with the perfection of these little imaginary scenes that I convince myself reality will be just as magical. It isn’t. Shopping with the Hubbie is not a fun, relaxed, bonding experience – it is excruciatingly painful for both of us. The main issue is that Hubbie does not (like many other men) understand the concept of “browsing”.
Hubbie – “What are you looking for?”
Me – “I don’t know.”
Hubbie – “Why are we in here then?”
Me – “In case I see something.”
Hubbie – “Like what?”
Me – *irritated* “I don’t know yet.”
Hubbie – *just as irritated* “I’m waiting outside.”
Hubbie approaches shopping like a military operation. There are ETA’s and EDT’s and specific mission objectives. There are meeting points and hydration breaks but no other unscheduled stops and absolutely no “browsing”. There is also no slow-paced strolling or hand-holding though sometimes I can slip my hand into his before he notices. Naturally when this happens, I make fun of how lame he is for walking around a mall on a Sunday afternoon, holding hands with his wife! This is our relationship in a nutshell. (Hubbie is objecting that he is not the shopping-Nazi that I’m making him out to be. In his defense, he tries his best to grin and bear it and still takes me shopping every year for my birthday – I’m really a very lucky gal.)
10. Have my Hair Cut into a Mullet
I was nine, my Mom convinced me it would be a good look for me. A nice short, easy-style for a nine year old to take care of while still long enough in the back that it would look feminine. Momma lied. Until the mullet grew out, my older sister was able to convince people I was her younger brother, Steve. I’m not entirely convinced that Mullets are for anyone, but they are definitely not for girls.
Suzi
Showing posts with label mistakes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mistakes. Show all posts
Oct 17, 2010
Sep 7, 2010
Sometimes I Wonder About Myself
Did my mother make as many mistakes as I did and do? Do my friends? Do people just not want to talk about the stupid and embarrassing things they have done? I guess we’re all afraid of looking dumb or irresponsible but we all make mistakes sometimes, don’t we?
Over the past year and a bit, I have come to realize that parenting, like so many other things, is a trial and error process that you won’t necessarily get right the first time. I’m starting to wonder now about the “eldest children” out there that I know, aka. the parenting guinea pigs. Forget 'middle-child syndrome'!
But seriously, I think I am doing a pretty good job raising my Little Man but like I said, it’s harder than it looks. And though I’d like to blame lack of sleep and changing hormones and all those fabulous excuses, my child sleeps through the night and is nearly 1 ½ so I’ve got nothing. Guess I’ll just have to admit that sometimes, I’m just not that perfect - sometimes.
Here are just some of the things that make me question my ability to ‘parent’:
I have literally spoken the phrase: “No, this is Mummy’s chocolate and I don’t have to share.” I have also tried to sneak chocolate past the Little Man . You don’t even have to say it – I know.
Similarly, I have seriously considered raising my child to believe that he is allergic to chocolate. I’d love to say this would be for his benefit but really…
When I have run out of things to entertain my son (if we’re stuck waiting somewhere) I have let him play with such non-Daddy-approved “toys” from my purse as lip gloss, tampons and make up.
Instead of nursery rhymes, since my son was a newborn I have been singing songs like “All the Single Babies” (Beyonce), “Shake, Shake, Shake – Don’t Shake the Baby” (Shake Your Booty) and “Push it” (Salt n’ Peppa – usually when he’s pooping).
I laugh when my son farts. I know this only encourages him but he looks so surprised and then cheeky… how do you not laugh?
Whenever the Little Man sees an empty beer can he runs to pick it up. He will either pretend to drink from it and then go “ahhhh” or he will take it straight to his Daddy. We have no idea where he picked up these habits.
I may have once forgotten to properly close the backdoor to my car after buckling my son in. I was pulling out of my spot in the Walmart parking lot and the door flew open – the Little Man laughed and started waving at the shocked people he could now clearly see. I stopped and closed the door. It may have actually happened twice.
Whenever the Little Man hears a loud truck, he points and yells, “Daddy!” When we’re in a parking lot, I find myself repeating over and over, “No, that’s not your Daddy. No, he’s not your Daddy either. Nope, not baby’s Daddy, try again.” I love it when the guys driving the big trucks have their windows down though and hear him. That “deer-in-headlights” look is priceless. It’s even funnier if there’s a girl sitting next to them. The Little Man will usually smile and wave like he really does recognize them too.
It’s bad enough that the Little Man already recognizes a Tim Horton’s (the source of the occasional cookie ) and claps his hands and points from the backseat of a car going 90 km/hr, but it’s even worse that the girls in the Tim Horton’s drive thru by my house know not just me but also my son by name!
I bought the Little Man his own little baseball bat. I don’t know what I was thinking with that one. Our cat still hasn’t forgiven me.
And finally, I’m wondering whether I really should be saying things to my son like:
- “No, we don’t hit Daddy. Only Mummy can do that.”
- “Get the cat!”
(He runs after it screaming. It’s pretty funny until he does it to other people’s cats.)
- Daddy – “What does Mummy say?”, Little Man – “Mooo!”
(My husband thought that was a pretty clever thing to teach him.)
- “Ouch! Mother Ducker!”
(If he repeats that one at daycare, I think I’m still going to look pretty bad.)
- “Look – there goes Big Fat Baby!”
(Baby who lives down the street whose name I always forget. This has the potential to be quite embarrassing once the Little Man can talk more.)
- “Pick it up quickly, it’s still good. Five second rule… Ten second rule… Thirty second rule… Here, let me get that for you.”
- “Baby, be careful! Don’t go near the Evil Bunny!”
(My sister-in-law bought me this as a joke. I suppose I shouldn’t perpetuate the idea that the bunny is “evil”. I’ll include a picture so then you’ll have a better idea of what I’m talking about. Actually, in this case, it might be an example of good parenting – you decide!)
Suzi
Over the past year and a bit, I have come to realize that parenting, like so many other things, is a trial and error process that you won’t necessarily get right the first time. I’m starting to wonder now about the “eldest children” out there that I know, aka. the parenting guinea pigs. Forget 'middle-child syndrome'!
But seriously, I think I am doing a pretty good job raising my Little Man but like I said, it’s harder than it looks. And though I’d like to blame lack of sleep and changing hormones and all those fabulous excuses, my child sleeps through the night and is nearly 1 ½ so I’ve got nothing. Guess I’ll just have to admit that sometimes, I’m just not that perfect - sometimes.
Here are just some of the things that make me question my ability to ‘parent’:
I have literally spoken the phrase: “No, this is Mummy’s chocolate and I don’t have to share.” I have also tried to sneak chocolate past the Little Man . You don’t even have to say it – I know.
Similarly, I have seriously considered raising my child to believe that he is allergic to chocolate. I’d love to say this would be for his benefit but really…
When I have run out of things to entertain my son (if we’re stuck waiting somewhere) I have let him play with such non-Daddy-approved “toys” from my purse as lip gloss, tampons and make up.
Instead of nursery rhymes, since my son was a newborn I have been singing songs like “All the Single Babies” (Beyonce), “Shake, Shake, Shake – Don’t Shake the Baby” (Shake Your Booty) and “Push it” (Salt n’ Peppa – usually when he’s pooping).
I laugh when my son farts. I know this only encourages him but he looks so surprised and then cheeky… how do you not laugh?
Whenever the Little Man sees an empty beer can he runs to pick it up. He will either pretend to drink from it and then go “ahhhh” or he will take it straight to his Daddy. We have no idea where he picked up these habits.
I may have once forgotten to properly close the backdoor to my car after buckling my son in. I was pulling out of my spot in the Walmart parking lot and the door flew open – the Little Man laughed and started waving at the shocked people he could now clearly see. I stopped and closed the door. It may have actually happened twice.
Whenever the Little Man hears a loud truck, he points and yells, “Daddy!” When we’re in a parking lot, I find myself repeating over and over, “No, that’s not your Daddy. No, he’s not your Daddy either. Nope, not baby’s Daddy, try again.” I love it when the guys driving the big trucks have their windows down though and hear him. That “deer-in-headlights” look is priceless. It’s even funnier if there’s a girl sitting next to them. The Little Man will usually smile and wave like he really does recognize them too.
It’s bad enough that the Little Man already recognizes a Tim Horton’s (the source of the occasional cookie ) and claps his hands and points from the backseat of a car going 90 km/hr, but it’s even worse that the girls in the Tim Horton’s drive thru by my house know not just me but also my son by name!
I bought the Little Man his own little baseball bat. I don’t know what I was thinking with that one. Our cat still hasn’t forgiven me.
And finally, I’m wondering whether I really should be saying things to my son like:
- “No, we don’t hit Daddy. Only Mummy can do that.”
- “Get the cat!”
(He runs after it screaming. It’s pretty funny until he does it to other people’s cats.)
- Daddy – “What does Mummy say?”, Little Man – “Mooo!”
(My husband thought that was a pretty clever thing to teach him.)
- “Ouch! Mother Ducker!”
(If he repeats that one at daycare, I think I’m still going to look pretty bad.)
- “Look – there goes Big Fat Baby!”
(Baby who lives down the street whose name I always forget. This has the potential to be quite embarrassing once the Little Man can talk more.)
- “Pick it up quickly, it’s still good. Five second rule… Ten second rule… Thirty second rule… Here, let me get that for you.”
- “Baby, be careful! Don’t go near the Evil Bunny!”
(My sister-in-law bought me this as a joke. I suppose I shouldn’t perpetuate the idea that the bunny is “evil”. I’ll include a picture so then you’ll have a better idea of what I’m talking about. Actually, in this case, it might be an example of good parenting – you decide!)
Suzi
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)